Event #3 - A Moment to Breathe
Jul 30, 2018 17:31:05 GMT
Post by Naya Zafar on Jul 30, 2018 17:31:05 GMT
This classroom would do, Naya decided. It was the closest place she could find that would allow her to be completely alone. Her head was pounding as she made her way over to a desk, sitting down on the chair and burying her head in her hands. Now she was alone, she let herself cry for what felt like the billionth time today. In all honesty, she was surprised she had any tears left. Why did this happen to her? Why did she have to mess up all the time?
When she was younger, she'd been a loud and clever kid. Maybe too loud and clever, which was possibly why she was targeted by bullies. They'd beaten her down until she barely spoke at all in class. They'd stripped her of all her confidence. Nothing she did seemed to be right. She'd spent many an evening alone, listening to any soundtrack she could get her hands on. High School Musical, Wicked, Les Mis...
Until she met Emery. Emery was different, Emery didn't make fun of her, and Emery liked musicals like she did. She forced her to come out of her shell, encouraged her, gave her enough confidence to join the drama club. There, she'd been happy.
There, she'd met Lewis.
He'd only been a casual attendee, but she was smitten from the moment she met him. Of course, the little part of her that was still the beaten down, nervous Naya told her that he wouldn't like her back, but he did, and they'd been inseparable for three perfect years. Even when she was diagnosed with anxiety two years in, he'd been supportive, if a little worried.
And then he dumped her. She'd messed up again, she'd been too insecure, she'd grilled him too much about whether he still found her attractive, and she'd driven him away. He quit the drama club, and got a new girlfriend. A better girlfriend, one who didn't mess up all the time.
Naya was well acquainted with feeling like a failure. She'd felt like one since the moment Lewis had said he didn't want to be with her. Really, since the moment someone had said "Shut up Naya! God, you're so annoying!" to her for the first time. But now her stupidity, her naivety, her overwhelming panic had a "body count". She was hurting other people, not just herself. Ryan, Misha, Peyton, Tristan, Philip, Jamie... What a fucking idiot.
At least now she was alone. She was better off alone.
When she was younger, she'd been a loud and clever kid. Maybe too loud and clever, which was possibly why she was targeted by bullies. They'd beaten her down until she barely spoke at all in class. They'd stripped her of all her confidence. Nothing she did seemed to be right. She'd spent many an evening alone, listening to any soundtrack she could get her hands on. High School Musical, Wicked, Les Mis...
Until she met Emery. Emery was different, Emery didn't make fun of her, and Emery liked musicals like she did. She forced her to come out of her shell, encouraged her, gave her enough confidence to join the drama club. There, she'd been happy.
There, she'd met Lewis.
He'd only been a casual attendee, but she was smitten from the moment she met him. Of course, the little part of her that was still the beaten down, nervous Naya told her that he wouldn't like her back, but he did, and they'd been inseparable for three perfect years. Even when she was diagnosed with anxiety two years in, he'd been supportive, if a little worried.
And then he dumped her. She'd messed up again, she'd been too insecure, she'd grilled him too much about whether he still found her attractive, and she'd driven him away. He quit the drama club, and got a new girlfriend. A better girlfriend, one who didn't mess up all the time.
Naya was well acquainted with feeling like a failure. She'd felt like one since the moment Lewis had said he didn't want to be with her. Really, since the moment someone had said "Shut up Naya! God, you're so annoying!" to her for the first time. But now her stupidity, her naivety, her overwhelming panic had a "body count". She was hurting other people, not just herself. Ryan, Misha, Peyton, Tristan, Philip, Jamie... What a fucking idiot.
At least now she was alone. She was better off alone.